THE HAPPINESS' ANATOMY

-THIS ONE OF THE STEP BY STEP TO HAPPINESS, ENJOY THE PROCESS-

How many times did it happen you felt lost? It does happen quite often, especially when you finish a course of studies and you begin to think about what you are going to do with your life. The first consideration I want to make is that the educational pathway we all take, no matter where in the world, does not really prepare you to:

1) To understand what you really want to do in your life.

2) In case you understand what you want to do in your life, it does not give you the right preparation.

I guess the majority of people agree that you really learn to do a job while you are actually working rather than when you prepare for it.

I lived it in first person with my career and I am a nurse. In my country, we take a degree and we have to study 3 years to then understand that the real majority of the stuff we do as nurses we learn it through working and not before. It is quite frustrating. At least it was for me.

Although the system does not help, some good news are around the corner.

The first one is that we live in a society, at least the one I live in, that all sorts of information are free, if you know how to move around you can become a specialist in something for free, you just need access to internet and a good library close to you.

The second good news is that not everybody knows that, and that leaves more space for you to become the person you want to be (we will go back to this point).

The third good news is that you can begin again, anytime you want, IF YOU WANT, no matter where you are and finally start what your dream life is.

If you ask me ‘Lorenzo, what do you want in life?’ I would give you a specific answer for almost all aspects of my life. I know where I am going. Do not get me wrong, I did not know where I was going until two, three years ago, it took me time to realize it. I will explain what worked for me, maybe it could help you as well.

Two, three years ago I was completely lost, I probably mentioned it before in some of my previous articles.

I did not know where I was going, what to do and I was even reconsidering all the decisions I had taken until that moment. When I reached the bottom and the only thing I wanted to do was to stay in my small dark room, alone, and not having contact with the world, I realized something that freed me up.

It could not probably get worse; I could actually restart. I saw it as I was reborn from a very big fire.

My life was a tornado at that time. I guess many people can relate to what I have just said. Now, I am not going to say the story of my life but I will mention the most important aspects that helped me go through that period and be the person I am today.

I'll make a list of all of these aspects:

A MENTOR

Yes, we should all have a mentor.

It is so important to have somebody that you listen to and respect. My ideal figure of a mentor is the one that does not tell you what to do but instead guides you unconsciously towards the change.

A mentor should make you be the protagonist of your life, highlighting your best qualities, showing them to you, believing in you and make you aware of the potential you have but that has not been expressed until today.

The mentor should never speak for his/her own interest but always in your interest and should never substitute with you in doing something.

I have had 2 mentors so far: my psychologist and my girlfriend, which at that time was just a very close person in my life. I stopped going to the psychologist, I am lucky I still have not stopped to see my girlfriend :) .

A mentor usually can see the potential within you and make it come reality.

Easy to say, difficult to put into practice. Don’t forget that as a mentee you trust your mentor, so why not believing him/her? The mentor also makes you aware of your change and reminds it to you when you need it. A mentor usually is someone above you that helps you.

Me, as life coach we are at the same level, it is a partnership towards the goal you want.

BOOKS

Read, read and read. Books are treasures, real treasures.

Read them as much as you can, highlight the part you love, write them down, make post it of those parts and keep them in your room where you can see them.

I always have the book that I am currently reading and a new brand book ready around me. I still get excited about it. Books are knowledge, full stop. I was not a reader previously but I know why. I was not reading what it was of my interest, I did not know what I liked reading, the education I had made me read books I did not like. I remember when I was a child I would relate books to something I did not like, BECAUSE THE BOOKS THEY MADE ME READ AT SCHOOL were JUST NOT RIGHT FOR ME. I am honestly passionate about books on success, business, yoga, life coaching and my favorite topic, HAPPINESS. I cannot stop reading about it. I have seen few famous guys saying they can read a book a day, simply by not reading them all, just by getting what they think is the essence of the book and move on to the next book. I am honestly still reading a book a month and I am very tempted to try and do like that, I love reading a full book though and that is probably time consuming. I am open to that.

I say to you, read what is relevant in your life, what can make a difference in your life, otherwise it is not worth reading.

Probably it is a bit too harsh, but that is my opinion. I want to be happy in my life, I read about happiness. They say you are what you read. Books are an enormous resource as they are the mean you can become a specialist in something. I always say:

YOU CANNOT BE THE BEST AT EVERYTHING BUT YOU CAN BE THE BEST AT ONE THING.

So why not trying through books? Books are what they give you in school. Now you can change the rules, choose your dream, read about it, be the best about that topic and make it real.

DREAMS

FIND YOUR DREAM NOW, DO NOT GET LOST!

To find your dream and to make it real you need first to know yourself. Get to know yourself, dig in and find what that dream is, that passion that really makes you happy. ONLY YOU KNOW IT. Not me, not your mum, not your brother, not your friend knows it, ONLY YOU KNOW IT! There are not right or wrong dreams, there is only the way you work to get there and how much you want to sacrifice to get to your dream. Your dream is what can make you happy.

Let's play a bit with the words. Let's start to call your dream a goal. What do you need to reach that goal? What can you sacrifice to achieve that goal? The answer should be:

THERE IS NOT SACRIFICE BIG ENOUGH TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL BECAUSE THAT GOAL IS YOUR HAPPINESS.

Probably it is a bit too extreme but that is the attitude. A dream moves you, A REAL DREAM DOES. A dream that does not belong to you but that it is only given, for example, by the society, will be difficult to achieve. Be careful with that, choosing a dream should be easy if we know ourselves, but in this society, there are a lot of noises disturbing us. When I say noises I mean the interference, the obstacles that keep you away from knowing yourself and knowing what you really want in life.

It is tough, really tough in this world to know what we really want. All the literature I have been reading says to be specific about a dream and it’s true, only when it is specific, you can see it, when you can see it, when you can visualize it, it is closer to be a reality.

BE SURE IT IS YOUR DREAM, BE SURE IT IS SPECIFIC, BE SURE YOU COULD DO ANYTHING TO ACHIEVE IT AND YOU WILL FIND THE WAY.

ENJOY THE PROCESS

Enjoy the road to your dream. Enjoy the bad and the good, enjoy the change. There is a big obstacle to reaching dreams,

MANY PEOPLE WANT A CHANGE WITHOUT CHANGING.

If you want something you do not have now, there are things you need to change, a change is a transformation in yourself and most of the time means getting out of your comfort zone. That is the point where many people quit.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO QUIT, YOU WANT TO ACCEPT THE CHANGE, ENJOYING THE PROCESS AND REACH YOUR DREAM.

SHARE THE KNOWLEDGE

Yes, that is the biggest secret. Share what you know. You are not alone in this world, you want to share the good. It has been studied that the secret against depression is giving. Simply give to someone else and you will be happier. It is the science saying this, not only me. The happiest people in the world are the ones who can count on someone else, so remember that people next to us count as much as we do as they have a fundamental role in our life that we cannot even imagine.

These are few aspects of my life that helped me to FIND WHAT I REALLY WANT IN THIS LIFE AND THE PATHWAY TOWARDS HAPPINESS. I am still working on that and I am trying to be open to the change. Every day is the day for a new change and to build your happiness! Share your story with me.

- THIS ONE OF THE STEP BY STEP TO HAPPINESS, ENJOY THE PROCESS -